that that don't kill me

I'm falling again
nothin to grab hold of & I'm fallin again
slow motion & I hear nothing but my heart pounding
it feels like time has stopped
Who I am, who I want to be & how did I get here...again are all muddled
the only clear thing is machete like
the concrete rushing up
& whether this time it will be broken bones or spitting teeth & blood
I don't know
& it ain't even fear I'm mostly feeling it's exhaustion
seems like this is where I live
back pressed against hard jagged rock & monstrous cold waves rushing in
limbs so weak
struggle hard for each breath & I can't remember what I keep fighting for
home is too distant & fleeting a memory to focus in on
deep, bone tired, is all I know
voice too hoarse to call for help not enough air anyway
& from far away there is one who recognizes my spirit's dimming
& hears the cry I couldn't muster
one who resuccitates, breathes for me
inhale if ever there was one deserving of life not mere survival in struggle it's you
exhale this too shall pass
inhale you will get what you put out returned to you in full measure your sum is much greater than your mistakes it is pure love & truth
exhale we've gotta go through the dark to see the light, remember joy comes in the morning
inhale you shine bright as the messenger star & just as hard to follow, but there are wise ones now already following the signs that point to you, so don't fade before they reach you
exhale the beauty of birth is the extent of the pain you suffer for life to issue from you, heed your own truths & push now
inhale space ain't what you need, you need to know that you are precious, beautiful, & well loved & even if it is only half as much as your love, great as night sky, it is still as much as the stars within it; infinite
exhale that that don't kill you can only make your stronger & you've been here so many times before, not in vain but to strengthen you for the weight of your destiny, you may go through more than others, return here, more than others, but you will reach heights they dare not dream of
time presses on my body slams hard into the ground & before the clear cost is totaled in broken bones & blood loss
conciousness is regained & the expansive air of thruth felt
I am here alive, as whole as I choose to be
& breathing... harder than I struggled